Astray

I should

Be feeling good

Instead of this

Feeling of

Disbelief

Angst and grief

I have to take

Some time

To get over my crime

I can't punish myself

Not this time

Because it could have been worse

A million times worse

And I could feel worse

Than I already do

Maybe he does

And he has a lot

To think about

I have a lot

To think about

And figure out

Even when I want

To make out

I have to stake out

My heart

So that it doesn't

Tear me apart

I lead myself astray

Each and ever day

Because I don't have

The guts to say

That I'm done for the day

And find my own way

Now I will have to pay

The price I always pay

When I lead

Myself astray

Living in my filthy ashtray

I can only hope and pray

That I don't become

The prey

I'm safer at home anyway

A lot safer alone

Safer that way

Then I could really say

That at least

I stayed away

From leading myself

Astray

Just like the other day