Building Up

Maybe I'm caught
Between a rock
And a hard place
Too much effort
In finding my own space
Mascara smeared
Down my face
As though everything I've feared
Has me in its embrace
Eyes swollen from beating myself up
Making myself cry
Never asking myself why
Never waking myself up
Breaking myself up
Instead of building myself up
To be stronger than I was before
Than I've ever been before
So much stronger than ever before
I've always wanted to pursue
What I could not have
I've always wanted to rescue
What I could not save