What Am I Thinking?

Why do I do this?
Half hoping, half knowing the
Answer before
The questions have even been asked

Am I such a glutton for punishment? I
Must be a beggar for pain

I do this

Time and time again
Hearts do heal, even
If it takes time
Nearly a million years
Kisses could turn
Into dust in
Next to no time at all. When is the next time I'm
Going to fall?