Casualty of Casuality

I may as well be

Dead to the world

The world that rejects me

It's hard to act naturally

It's hard to act casually

When there is too much

That means too much

To me

Only to me

Nobody will share

These crazy dreams with me

These are just hopes

That I hold close to my heart

So close to my heart

That they have been

Tearing me apart

Inside, but it shows

And then everyone knows

How vulnerable I make myself

This intensity is intimidating

I am the intensity

I am intimidating

Men seem to see me

As a challenge

Only they don't want to try

They don't want to

Take the risk

Because I am a risk

A risk of causing more damage

To my already low self-esteem

They see this

They want confidence

How can I be confident?

When I keep getting pushed away?

When I scare guys away?

What am I supposed to say?

I'll never tell another man

That I love him

Unless he says it first